To catch you up, and to probably just remind myself of what I've been through, I am now in a new relationship in the sunny town of Benfleet.
If you can cast your mind back to June 2010, my life pretty much fell to pieces. From making a break from what seemed "the love of my life" I revert back to my single days, and live my life in a student residence with my fellow Irish ghetto and brick wall of my single life, My white Beyonce. From June 2010 and September 2010 I was left to pick up the pieces and get my former self back on track. I started running, (briefly) I wore more revealing outfits, I got cockier with men, I started eating better (because I didn't have to play housewife anymore) and I started to make plans. And the one thing that truely got me through that break up, and still helps me today is my one plan and dream. To travel.
In my madness I thought I could do this the January just gone. But If was to do this right I knew I had to save money, and how was I going to do that in a job in retail, barely scraping by?
Then came the heartbreaking decision to move home. After discovering Mr The One shacks up with an opposite of myself, and hearing a few more secrets from our relationship forming from the woodworks of lies, cheating and general idiotic boy behavior I felt my mind had reached its mental peak. I was not a well girl. I had been a naive fool, and I did not wish to stay in a town that made me feel like that.
It took me a while in my mind to accept this decision. As before that relationship came along, I had an amazing life in Southampton. And I had to say goodbye to some of the best friends I'll ever know. It still pains me not to see them on a daily basis.
But the one thing that truly saw me through, was knowing that I was not running away, but moving forward. Despite the irony of moving back home after 5 years of independence and freedom. I could save money. A lot of it, and get the hell out of here.
So I switch roles in work, and move onto a different brand to keep things interesting. And for a while I positively love my new job. But the darkness of retail politics can be a messy thing, and soon I become anxious of the people around me. I moved away from a job I hated with people I loved to the complete opposite. Actually, it's not that I hate the people. Far from it. But trust is not a word used easily in this team. Some days are actually pretty good. I get to merchandise my trends and not be bothered. But there will be an odd comment from the management that will get me down. Needless to say my job is there for money, not friendship.
I suppose there is one thing to be thankful for in my new job, and that is my new love interest. A man who is just as hopeless as me, and yet somehow still has a lot to offer. I like the fact on our first date all the rules were out of the window. I still remember the conversation I had with my friend before the date to calm my nerves. "Now just remember, no talking about exes and DON'T get drunk whatever you do!"
Sometimes. Its better to ignore your friends ;)
Now I know he's not "The One" but he's slowly restoring my faith in men. Which after my ordeal last year, says a lot for me. He's an absolute doofus that makes me laugh. He doesn't take himself too seriously and yet worries about everything. He makes me breakfast in bed and plays with my hair when were cuddling. He strokes my back when I'm not well and runs over to see me when I've had a bad day. He dances like an idiot and is probably the most laid back person I've met. He doesn't have any money to take me out but that surprisingly doesn't bother me. A man I can stay in bed with and make cookies with on a lazy saturday afternoon is a man worth keeping.
He knows I'm going travelling one day but doesn't really know when. I suppose I cant see us lasting long enough but he does constantly surprise me so you never know.
I've had enough of sharing for today. But that has been my life so far. And this blog will basically entail my saving up for traveling, and hopefully the experiences of that traveling!
Peace x
