2011 on reflection..

As my best friend has managed to sum up 2011 in a note to her loved ones, I thought I would try to do the same.

After a pretty rocky and emotional 2010, I did not expect much of this year. Even as the clock striked midnight on the 1st of 2011, in my head I knew this was not my year.

Boy was I completely wrong.

At the beginning of the year I managed to find myself in a new relationship. This is something I never would of dreamt of after the ordeal I went through last year but I was lucky enough to have found someone who had manage to restore my faith in men. And despite us not lasting long, and the cock ups on both our parts this past year, we've been mature enough to remain friends and it's something I am truly grateful for.

The summer of 2011 can pretty much be summed up in one word. Mental. On reflection looking through conversations with a friend I was at the peak of my sexuality. Not in a slutty way mind you (repressing some nights out here haha.) But there was a never a dull moment. My summer was filled with evenings out with gorgeous men. Each one taught me a life lesson and opened my eyes to future possibilities. I know if I ever feel lonely I can look back on this summer and know there are true gentlemen out there, and one that will eventually make an honest woman out of me.

And lets not forget the friends I have made from work. You guys made my summer filled with adventures. Frat partys, sunrooms, day rave, banana costume banter, Brighton, xmas party...the list is endless. Thank you for filling my life with laughter this year.

And to my oldest and dearest friends and family. You know who you are, thank you for giving me the strength to put my head down and get to where I need to be for next year. I can say that I am truly proud of myself, that this year I have not even a handful of regrets and I am blessed with true friends and family. Lord knows where I would be without mamma and papa Roberts, and my brother, who has been a massive help to me throughout my life.

So as this year comes to an end I can only describe myself to be a mixture of emotions, sad to be leaving, excited for the next chapter in my life but all in all a very happy individual.

Love to all x

Well now...

I was going to make a new blog, as this blog has been my little private rant when I've needed it these past few years. But what i've come to realise is, I don't have much to hide..and even if you don't like what you read, i've left the country....so who really cares what you think?

So consider this my travelling blog from now on! In precisely 10 days I will be on that jetplane, first stop Bangkok. So much to organise and yet all I seem to be doing is eating chocolate and drinking makers mark at 12:30 in the afternoon...

Needless to say I think this journey will change me!

I just need to..

start saying my thank yous on here. So that when it comes to making the big goodbye speech I won't choke on what the hell to write.

Shell, Laura, Shenaz and Caroline. If there was an Essex version of Sex and the City, we'd be it. These girls are my main reason for making the decision of moving back to Essex in the first place. These girls know me inside out...and still love me dearly for it. Over a year ago now, despite not being in Southampton at the time when my life fell to pieces, they were still there for me. And I know whereever in the world I may be, or end up, they will always be apart of me x

81 days..

That's 11 weeks and 4 days. That's 1,944 hours. That's all I have left of Essex until I embark on my journey of discovery.

Get me out of here. Seriously.

6 months 2 weeks and 3 days....wanna go any quicker?

So....

I'm pretty much done with men. There are none out there, and I've been to the high heavens and back to search for one. Well....Southend and Plenty of Fish. But now this blog will consist of a personal pep talk if you will, for my saving for travelling!

7 months precisely today I was encounter a journey of a lifetime. My only problem is, saving in the present. I've worked out I need to be saving at least £700 a month from now to have barely efficient enough funds to get me by. that will be £4,200....£1,200 for the 2 months in thailand and then £3000 to enter Oz to work. Legally I need £3000 to enter the country! Although the STA guy sad they hardly ever check...sods law they will check mine and my dreams will be shattered as I'm booted off home.

So. Time to become a complete hermit, or have fun with no money....this will be a test of my social skills!

Turns out

After 24 years of being fucked over by men, my judgement STILL is completly clueless.

Benfleet boy ended up ever so slightly breaking my heart. Someone who I thought was completly harmless ending up harming me the most.

Now i am completly alone. No mr artist, no Benfleet boy. There is no one.

I need to keep reminding myself I am going travelling. I am LEAVING and there is no point in getting attached to anyone.

But alas I am pretty ungrateful...try telling someone to be alone who is surrounded by settled and loved up couples.